i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
