We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
