You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I want a musical about memes.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
