she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
