So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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