That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I have fence marks all over my body
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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