Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Come share oat with me in your robe
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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