True but thats because hes a fetus.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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