I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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