Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
