ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
