you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
