Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
