i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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