i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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