kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
