But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
