i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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