The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
