Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
