His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
