Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
