ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
