tell your sister to shave her snatch
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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