I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
