it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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