do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
