he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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