I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Found your dick twin last night
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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