As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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