life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
