Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
