after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
