Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
