We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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