so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
