For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
