you didnt know i had herpes?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Randomize
