In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
420 ftw
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
