My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I deserve this hangover.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
