we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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