We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
