Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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