Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
