well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
