Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
