Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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