Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
