i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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