Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
