Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
